Monthly Archives: November 2015

About ‘Be Wise or be Friendzoned’ article in Times Life

In response to this article printed in Times Life on the 1st of November:
Often, India is behind the curve on a lot of trends. But is it really so backward that Indian newspapers should feature a concept that has been debunked in the west way back in 2013, and proven to be as legitimate to male privilege as a woman cooking dinner and then bending over to perform wifely duties?
Let’s spell it out, shall we?
The ‘friendzone’ is not a thing. It never has been. It never will be.
In case, you want to do some research, here are some links for you to get started:
The only people who use the word ‘friendzone’ are sexist Neanderthals who believe that being nice to a girl means being entitled to romantic or sexual interest from her.
That being said, yes, a lot of people take advantage of the proverbial good guy (or girl, actually). That, as Gurcharan Das puts it, is the difficulty of being good. Yes, it is wise to teach our children (of all genders and sexualities) strategies to avoid being taken advantage of. But to explicitly make this universally human concept into bigoted, gendered indoctrination that teaches guys to demand for shit they have no right to? It’s not just absurd but retrograde. It’s dismissive of urban culture, the very thing the supplement aims to appease. It’s like telling the people of the Himalayas of the glories Yeti.
It’s a myth, get over it.
It’s bad enough that movies like Ranjhaana that glorify stalking and rape culture are still being made. Its bad enough that the police can use consenting couples as a way to fulfil their monthly quota. It’s bad enough that women have a hard time talking about their sexual needs and still being respected.
It’s bad enough.
Stop contributing to the mess.
Hina Siddiqui